I'm so off today.....

So I counted and I have been home a grand total of 6 days this entire month of September.

We have taken a family trip up to San Fransisco, St. George, Utah
and I have been going non stop to say the least.

With a very literal meaning everything cam crashing down on me last night.

I want to warn you, this is not for the faint of heart so STOP reading now if you are.
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As you know I have been without a husband for a week and was
so excited to pick him up from the airport last night.
He came in about 10:45 and we stayed up WAY too late.

Luke woke up at 6:30 this morning,
I usually give him a bottle and he will sleep till about 9.
I quickly jumped out of bed ran up the stairs to grab Luke's bottle and put it in the microwave.

Once the bottle was in I grabbed the counter feeling extremely light headed....
and that's all I remember.

Then all the sudden I hear Brandon's voice standing over me.

All I could think about was how bad my head hurt and my bleeding shoulder. 

(Let me stop and say, I have NEVER ever fainted or blacked out in all my life)

I felt disoriented and scared as I literaly could not recall anything.

I am not sure how long I was out but Brandon said I was upstairs
for about 10 minutes until he got worried. 
If your thinking this sounds horrible I also lost control of my bowls
and was completely mortified beyond explanation that my husband had to see me like this. 

Brandon was so sweet and took such good care of me &
helped me in the shower and I was able to fall back asleep
despite the pain from my head and shoulder.

So to go back to the title of this post, I feel sooooo off today.

My conclusion of the matter is that I had worn myself too thin.

Not enough sleep, not enough water, low blood sugar, barely any food ect.
I am also under a lot of stress to find new renter's in our house in Utah.

(I have been working so hard to get our house ready & rented the last 3 weeks with very little luck
having to pay our mortgage and our rent in California has caused me more anxiety than I care to share)

On top of this all Brandon is the best man in his friend's wedding this weekend
and we have a action packed weekend to say the least.
Tonight getting ready for the wedding dinner was painful
but I felt like I really wanted to be there to support. 
So as usual I put on 'my strong' face and went. 

I also am teaching one of my students a cello lesson here in a hour via Skype
so I guess there really is no rest for the weary.

Life is fragile and obviously I need to take better care of myself....
NEW GOAL starting NOW!

So if you thought you had a bad day here's to making you feel better about it.

Her's to hoping for a better night tonight.